Monday, January 30, 2017

Feeling a bit weird

I feel like I might be losing it.
Like some demented part of my subconscious has broken off and is playing games with me without my consent.

I probably just need to get glasses to stop the world from spinning.

Reading a book about a girl who needs a psychologist has left my dreams a little dark.
A dream about my dead sister decomposing has left me wondering if I ever dealt with those feelings in the first place.
Last night I dreamed I was in a small house with a bunch of other homeless girls and we were all smoking weed. I've never had the chance to try it yet, but I do want to get high...
I hope my brain gets it's shit together soon.
I'm getting a little unnerved by my own consciousness.

On another note, I lost five pounds.
Got to a weight I haven't been at since September.
Fingers crossed whatever I've been doing sticks and I get even lower.

It's strange that my subconscious picks now to take a dip in the dark end. Everything is actually alright right now.
Maybe my life is finally stable enough for my coping to go on a shelf while my unresolved shit takes a turn in the front seat.
Maybe my coping is malfunctioning and things aren't as good as I've led myself to believe.
Things just got abstract...

But I'm actually having a good day.
Going to see that new mythical beasts movie in theaters later with my boyfriend- hopefully.