As many of you may know, I have an obsession with winter time and Christmas season, so yes, I am listening to Christmas music already. In my defense, the radio station here already started playing it and I particularly like that radio station.
I find it motivating because I imagine myself on Christmas morning, or in the month of December when all of the snow starts falling and there is just no way that I can ruin that by letting myself continue on this way. There is nothing more satisfying than having to bundle up in so many layers because you are so tiny you can't make your own heat, and then knowing that the layers only make you look smaller because there is no fat to make it bulgy.
Snow is like an alternate reality that coats the world and lets you see through to somewhere not quite real. It's magical for me. Christmas makes me feel like for just one day, everything can be better. It's like holding your breath for 364 days and then being able to finally take a breath before you plunge into another tough year.
I know everyone is going to think I am crazy for getting into the holiday spirit so early, but since I have so much time on my hands, and winter is so difficult for me with all of my disorders and all of the crap that is happening in my life, I need the season to last just a little bit longer to get through it all. Besides, if I want to be skinny by the time I move into the apartment (actually found out it won't be until December 20th at the earliest), I need to start motivating myself now.
Just an update on the system I posted about yesterday, it is working quite well for me. I have lost three pounds since I started three days ago. That may not be much yet, and it's still up in the air whether I am going to be able to stick to it for a long time, and I think a pound a day is still remarkable progress. I am so excited to be skinny again, or at least skinnier. I am going to pass up my low weight before I know it.
I hope everyone is doing well wherever you are.