Thursday, June 13, 2013

I'm not going to get a home as soon as I thought. I was lied to. My bf does not keep track of his money well enough.
I hate being the way I am. But I would love to change and so I will.
I am excited to be hungry again. I am excited to feel my bones again. I am excited to become tiny and precious and fragile. I am excited to feel beautiful again.
My new goal is short term. When I finally get my scale, which has arrived at my parents house, I want to be under 160. I can't much control that number, but I can control the next one. I want to be down five pounds by Sunday June the 23rd. That gives me ten days.
If all else fails, I would love to be 135 by my birthday at the end of October.

135 days to lose about 25 pounds
So, as long as I lose at least one pound every 5.4 days, I will be able to reach my goal.
Now, I am going to go do some jumping jacks, which can burn about 100 calories per 10 minutes.
I am so ready for this.
I binged all day today to over 2000 calories. I will find it in myself to forgive myself if I can reach hunger before I go to bed. And then I want to stay hungry.
I just need to find motivation.