Friday, February 1, 2013

I have been struggling the past few days with my eating again. I always feel sick. It's a feeling past nausea and past being overstuffed. Bloated maybe? I can't find the right word.

Scarlett Ana, I am sorry about the commenting issue. I went back and looked through everything and I guess commenting was only enabled for two of the pages. I enabled commenting for all pages and hopefully that should allow you to comment. Thank you for alerting me to this problem. I am still working out the kinks.

I want to be skinny so bad. I am literally making myself sick here too. I have no friends to hang out with, no one I feel comfortable around for long, and nowhere to go, and no money to go places and do things... All I have is internet. It's driving me crazy. I have almost nothing here anyways. R, H's brother if you need to be reminded, has had two D-days at work. He's likely to get fired because he takes so many days off to play games. Because he lives on his own and pays his own rent, if he loses his job, he has to come live in this place until he can get a new job. That means I either have to live with the most stressful person ever, go back to my parent's house, or be homeless. If it comes down to it, I will go back to my parent's house. R likes to break things and lash out at people if they are getting more attention than them. He likes to interfere inappropriately in other people's lives and he loves to make trouble for no reason. He also has no respect for personal space or personal belongings. He likes to invade privacy, which means reading and hacking into anything private. I will not be able to deal with that.

D, my bf, has a possible job opportunity coming up on the 12th of February I believe. If everything works out, I could be out of here in a few months or so. I am skeptical of anything good ever happening to me though. Me? Have luck? Yeah right.

K is watching the same movie over again. She's been watching it over and over again all day, for several days now. It's enough to drive anyone nuts and I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if that was her purpose. Last time it was twilight. Every once in a while she rereads all the books WHILE watching all of her movies over and over and over again. I really hate this place sometimes. I really do.

I'd go out for a walk but I fell HARD on my elbow last time and I am afraid of falling on the ice again like that. I don't know what to do. Maybe I will ask my mom if I can go over there. I can pace the hallways, watch whatever I like and the exercise bike is there. Right now, my bf isn't the least bit reliable and it's not likely he will even wake up if I try and get a hold of him, and even more unlikely that he will be able to do anything about my situation tonight anyways. I am craving cutting again. A LOT.