It took me two days to get back to where I was because of a bad day. Then yesterday I know I ate too much, and I was convinced that I would gain several pounds back. Well, I weighed this morning and I am at exactly where I was yesterday. I didn't lose or gain. I guess it's great that I didn't gain anything but I am so close to my first goal that it was slightly disappointing. I am disappointed in myself for not doing better. I can't just lose half a pound a day. I would never get to my goal that way. I need to lose now and succeed every day. Dieting is never satisfying without success. I need to exercise some control.
I am 0.6 pounds over my first goal. That's not even a full pound!
I haven't eaten anything today and I don't plan to eat until my bf gets back in four hours after he is done with work. Then maybe I will have a yogurt. The best thing about this plan is that by then, even if I end up binge eating until I am so full I feel sick, I only have low calorie foods around and I should fill up quickly. I won't be able to eat more than around 800 calories, even if I lose control. Besides, if I stick to my yogurts (80 calories each) then I would have to eat a whopping ten of those yogurts to get to 800 calories. I will probably be full after about three, even in binge mode. That's 240 calories for three yogurts.
I love these yogurts. They are Light & Fit Greek yogurts, with no fat in them, at 80 calories, and they have the consistency of soft cream cheese almost. Very filling, no damage done. Vanilla is my favorite. I find that when I have a bad day and eat a lot, the more of them I eat, the less damage is done and it's almost like the calories in them don't even count. Besides all of that, they are supposed to be really good for my tummy, which has stopped getting upset nearly completely since I started eating them.
Anyways I figured I would share this with everyone as a possible alternative to binge foods, or maybe just something to add in to the day as a low calorie option.
On a different note, the points plan is still working for me, and I have actually been able to keep track of everything I eat, and it keeps me in check and motivates me. I NEED to reach my goals before the holiday season is over. It is no longer a want. Keeping a food diary really helps too. I actually keep a separate notebook for that and my bf hands both notebooks to me as I am eating throughout the day to help, and when he is gone I keep track of every little thing that passes my lips. When I see how long the list is getting I start to feel quite disgusted with myself and then I force myself to stop eating before it gets out of control.
Everything is coming together. My main problem I think, is trying to find the determination and motivation to push me to do better than my best, and that's why I am blogging more now. I need to reach out to everyone and let them know that I for once am not failing, and if I do start to fail, I will have to tell everyone that I am not as good as I want to be. I can hide away and not broadcast my failures to anyone and binge and hate myself, but it will never help me to feel better. The only one who can help me is me, and if I hold myself accountable for my mistakes, then I have no choice but to do better. I hope this helps someone else in the process.