Thursday, May 9, 2013

I woke up and weighed 155+ on the apartment scale but that may or may not have been after I ate...
D got called in to work before I could see him yesterday on his day off, but he came to see me for an hour or so between his shifts and ended up bringing me home.
I am going to go to the doctor's on Monday to get put on mood stabilizers because I am sick of having bipolar disorder. The lows I have all the time are dangerous. I am actually doing this so that I feel better, instead of to help others around me this time. I warned my bf that it could get worse or better or be all over the place for a while because of the new meds. I also asked for him to keep watch the first several days at his house because I feel that if I had a terrible reaction to the medication, it would be dangerous (maybe even fatal) for me to be by myself. I was in the hospital a few times when I went on a medication that I reacted badly too, so this is a smart precaution.

Also, sometimes in the future (not until I move out, but it might take years after that still) I would like to get a service dog. It has been brought to my attention lately just how dangerous my mental disorders are. They are not curable, and will never go away completely. Even if the medication helps with my bipolar disorder, I will still have depression and anxiety. There are actually dogs that can detect panic attacks and generally make the owner feel safer and more secure. I hate being lonely and I have done seriously dangerous things when I have been lonely in the past. D thinks it is a good idea. It could do me so much good. And for the record, if I were to get a service dog, I think I want a Great Dane. They are just lovely creatures.

Calories for the day:
7 Fiber bars (chocolate peanut butter)- 960 calories
7 Granola bars (peanut butter chocolate chip)- 700 calories
Total calories-1,660 calories

That kinds of looks like a binge...
I overdid it. The problem is, my bf will probably come back and want to make me dinner. At least I got a little bit of exercise in, just not enough. Oh well. I can start over tomorrow like I always do.

No comments:

Post a Comment