Thursday, May 16, 2013

I guess I have been absent for a day or two... I am not sure.
I got started on abilify for my bipolar disorder today.

I would like to clarify something I said the other day.
When I said I was going to move into a new place with my bf, I meant it as a good thing. We have been dating for over six months now and I stay with him at his parent's for long periods of time sometimes. Where I normally live is at an apartment with my ex-boyfriend and his dad and his sister. It is not a good situation in the least. I still have to sleep next to my ex in his room. The floors are molded black and there is dog hair and dog feces and urine everywhere. We often lose internet for days on end, and we have lost power from time to time. I have been living there for two years now, which is since I was 17 years old and I moved out of my parents. My parents and I do not get along unless we are apart for a long time. My family is moving to another state soon- 12 hours away if I could even drive. If my cat goes with them she is doomed to die. I am not exaggerating either. My things will be taken or thrown out.
I have been homeless before. I lived in a homeless shelter for a while. I am at risk for being kicked out of the apartment with my ex and it worries me to no end.
Having a home for once would be wonderful. In fact, it would feel like a miracle to me.
I was 151 again yesterday but I don't know what I am now. With my clothes on, at the doctor's, the scale said I was 160 pounds. What a horrific moment that was. I am trying not to think about it too much.

Note: For some reason this didn't post yesterday when I wrote it, and it even cut off half of what I said...

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