Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Reason To Be Thin #5

Reason To Be Thin #5:
To brainwash your boyfriend into thinking there is nothing better out there, than you.

I may be kidding myself but I see this as an opportunity to motivate myself.
When I found out I lost my appetite. Then I realized how gross I felt.
I also felt sick because I didn't want sex until marriage. I screwed up a few times with him but it would never be enough for him. He has such little respect for himself to just throw sex around like it's just candy.
It makes me physically sick.
So I want to make him feel sick. I want him to realize that he should never leave me. I want him to realize that he should NEVER cheat on me. I want him to feel what it's like to feel such utter betrayal.
He hasn't done anything yet, but I can't trust him anymore, not right now. I feel like it is only a matter of time. This is going to be in the back of my mind for the rest of my life, or at least as long as I am with him. It's like a big red warning sign.
Maybe if I get skinny enough he will at least realize what a huge emotional impact his deceit has had on me.
I'm not holding out for a miracle, I am holding out for a hope. I always did have issues with hoping too much though, didn't I?
If he isn't the one, then at least I will have the body to search the oceans of fish better with. Then again...

To being 120 pounds and below, everyone. To being skinny.

1 comment:

  1. I had something similar happen to me and I lost around 17kg in two months, every time I wanted to eat I felt that physical sickness you mention. Still, I don't think being thin would stop someone from cheating on us, I know that is your reaction, and mine too, but I don't think it's the solution to everything. I still can't stop feeling like it is though...
    Alice xx