Thursday, July 12, 2012

To miss anonymous,
who commented the other day on my blog, (you are female, right?) I really don't know what to say to you. I will not encourage you to follow this lifestyle. It is destructive and it will destroy your life, but you probably don't care. I know I didn't. I still don't and I should be ashamed of that, but I'm not.
It will not make your life better, at least understand that. It is something we all tell ourselves, those of us who have these eating problems make it more ideal to ourselves to make it easier to live with. It is not as ideal as it seems.
I am begging you not to take laxatives and I won't share on how to make yourself throw up either. It causes heart problems and is worse than just restricting because it will kill you a lot faster.
Laxatives... they will not help you to lose weight in any way, I still don't know why people believe that. It will get rid of food faster I suppose, but it will destroy your entire digestive system if you take them too much. It will not help you to absorb less calories.
I also suggest you lose weight a healthier way. You would actually probably lose weight faster if you exercised and watched what you ate. Restricting calories makes you lose weigh fast, but then the chemicals in your brain kick in and make you binge. There is no way to resist that. So you gain all that weight and more back and then you feel miserable. You end up losing muscle so one day you will be able to walk and run like normal, and then the next you will be too weak to get out of bed. Because your body thinks it is going into starvation mode, it will hold onto the fat tighter and eat away at your muscles. It will be harder to do simple tasks like carrying a plate, or slamming a car door shut. And then you will look at the scale and celebrate the weight you lost, which of course was mostly muscle and you still have the fat and can't carry it around as well, and you won't care because the number went down.
There are a select few of us that somehow manage to lose weight this way, the rest of us become trapped in an obsessive cycle and we hate ourselves and our bodies. Our families cry because they can't do anything to help us, and become angry when they cannot understand. Our friends leave us behind because we are too busy crying over a piece of cake from the day before to go out with them. We lose everyone and everything we love for an image of ourselves we all strive to get to.
Once you start, even when you recover it will always haunt you. Recovered girls who suddenly have control of their eating disorder just a little more may become healthier, bigger, but at a price. The mind set is still there to haunt them, and their hearts are still weak from their unhealthy lifestyle. People with eating disorders can die from starvation, but they can also stop breathing in the middle of the night when no one is around. Their hearts can stop suddenly. It HAS happened. You can't just live this way until you get to your "ideal weight". It will effect you for always.
I suggest you find someway to express how you feel to others. I used a blog but I am sure there are other ways. It will make you feel a little better about whatever is going on in your life, and you can get tips and perspectives about life. I do not however, encourage you to pursue this life style. That's all I can really say. Ask a doctor or a parent to help you create a plan to become fitter, more healthy if you need to.
It scares me that you are trying to do this.
I have two little sisters who are thirteen- they are twins. One of them looks like she could have an eating disorder. One of them looks healthy and beautiful, and is starting to have the curves girls her age get. The other? She still looks flat and skinny. You can see her spine when she bends over and her arms and legs are long and gangling. She has to deal with watching her sister become a woman without her. It is hard for even me to watch and I am messing in the stuffs...
I would like to be your friend however. Please comment all you like, and yes I do like manga. Sorry if I made you angry by discouraging you so much. :/
By all means if you comment again at least give me a name to identify you with. Just sign it at the end of comments so I know who you are. I really don't have any tips. They should come natural by experience if that is what is meant to be. Everyone's household experience with avoiding food is so different, and all parents and family and friends will believe different things.
Please comment again!
<3 Venus
It kills me that I am still fat...