Friday, June 22, 2012

I applied for Wendy's today. I think there is an open position and they say not to call, to just wait for an email which makes it easier I guess, but it means waiting and perhaps waiting in vain :/
I think I filled out the questionnaire well although I am a little uncertain about other parts...
Please wish me luck.
I guess Target was not meant to be. But perhaps this...?
I have painted my nails green and orange with scented nail polish my mom got me...
I don't know what else to say. I did not do well on food today but I don't think I binged... to be honest I have no idea how much i ate today. i was stressed out and ate with no control. At least there is an upside to that. It will fix my metabolism. :)
I just checked several state databases for jobs. Nothing.
Nothing short of a miracle will help me.
Nothing is more terrifying than the fear of being alone and homeless.
How can one overcome that? Knowing that you will have to live without food and water, without shelter. Knowing that you may not even be able to have a back pack full of your own things with you because they will get dirty or wet from the rain. Knowing that all your friends might see you, and pity you, right before going back to their own nice warm houses. Knowing that you might be stuck in that way of life forever. Knowing that you may not have a place to go to the bathroom. Knowing, that on the streets a girl is very likely to get raped. Homelessness is a very vulnerable position. I can't do the homeless shelter, and I can't go to my parents house.
And I created this position for myself. It is no one's fault but my own.