Wednesday, April 11, 2012

So, the guy last night has been texting me all day with lots of lol's, and I don't think you need meds, and that would be cute if you did that...
He asked if I had a boyfriend so I know where this is going. The thing is, he's nice, but he's bigger and uglier than H. And I am only saying that out loud because this blog is anonymous and things like that kind of do matter.
I don't think I could ever really go out with someone who is extremely obese again, not just because it is unattractive but because usually it is a sign of something worse. Like, if they don't even put in an effort to keep up their health, how much energy would they really give to me? Usually overweight people are emotional eaters too. They eat to fill some kind of space that they are missing inside them. If they have emotional problems or control issues, or whatever else the reason might be for being grossly obese, I can't handle that right now. You know?
Also, I'm not sure if this friend has a letter yet because he is an important friend of mine... but I haven't seen him in a year or so due to his jealous girlfriend, who is actually now an ex. He was my brothers friend and he always liked me but I never really liked him back, but he was nice to me so we became great friends. He came by to see me for a few minutes today and we might be hanging out on Friday.
If we end up at the mall I might use some of the last bits of my money to buy myself some hair bleach. Being a brunette is ok but I really like my hair to be blond. Maybe it's because I like the color, or because I want to be able to express my feelings with my looks through color, but I would like to be blond again, and I might also put in some blue or hot pink streaks.
I always get off
I texted this friend later on and asked if I looked smaller than when he last saw me.
He said that I seem a bit taller, but definitely thinner. He used the last two words exactly.
Also he said he thinks my "breasts" have gotten bigger too. He's very honest when you ask him a question and with him it seems more calculated than said as a compliment. But then he said, "you looked pretty appealing actually."
It feels nice to have my body complimented. I have always had an hourglass figure, so I always have to look for large cup sizes with smaller waist lengths. So think maybe B or C with a 34 waist or around there. I haven't gone bra shopping for a long time though and I don't really have any that fit me. They are all too big...
I did eat today, but probably not as much as I need to to fix my metabolism. I am going to force myself to eat a little more so I might actually be able to up my metabolism a bit for when I exercise tonight, but I don't really want to and I'm afraid it will result in weight gain...

***What To Do When You Are Stuck***

What do you do when you are stuck? Get a fork lift. Lol just kidding bad joke sorry...

First of all, when you hit a plateau, it can last weeks, even months. That's scary and awful.
In order to fix that I am getting the idea that you need to mix things up. If you are eating the same amount of calories every day, switch it up and eat more one day, and then less the next. If you are using the exercise bike one day, like I have been, you need to go running the next, or any other kind of exercise.
That is one thing that will help.

Another thing, and I just remembered this- write down your calorie goal for the day. Divide this by a number more than five, and then make one number bigger than the others.
For example- 1000 calories a day (yes I know this is a lot)
1000 divided by 8 is 125, but lets make it seven meals, and the first one is 250
Trust me on this.
Generally the average person gets 8 or so hours of sleep. That leaves 16 hours of waking time.
So maybe every two or three hours you eat one of these meals.
When you wake up, eat the largest meal, and then continue on with this plan by eating about this many calories every few hours, but mix it with light exercise like walking in between.
If you do this for a few days, your weight won't sky rocket and your metabolism will be really good- that is until you lose weight for a while again. The eating every few hours tricks your body into thinking you are eating a lot, but since it won't be enough calories all at once it will convert it straight to energy instead of fat.
I would actually recommend eating 800 the first two or three days, 1000 the next few, and then bumping it up to 1200 or 1300 for five days and that should fix it a lot. If you end up gaining an immense amount of weight from this, you probably are not exercising enough.
If you try and just eat less and less, like I am somehow doing anyways because it's hard to get myself to eat, then you will stay stuck longer or even end up in a binge-purge cycle. It happened to me last year and it is awful to get out of and you can be stuck in it for months and just gain all the weight and more back. You do NOT want to do that.
I may just have to force myself to eat to get back on track.

Switching things up is the main thing I think. I'm going to go check to see if my tomatoes are ripe so I can eat a tomato sandwich...