Sunday, April 8, 2012

***Happy Easter Everybody!***

Happy Easter!

I have this huge fear that I am going to lose control. I feel that my body will react before I can lose enough and I will end up eating more and more everyday without knowing it. So I keep asking myself, did I eat too much today? Obviously. But have I eaten more than yesterday?
It's driving me nuts.
My body is going to get to a point where it will stop losing and just stand still. It won't matter how little I eat or how much I exercise, and that's what scares me.
I drew a picture for you lovelies, but I'm not very practiced in this kind of drawing- you know, the whole body being on one page, at least not in detail- but I tried. I will just have to do a bunch for you all. I did this all out of my head too, no models or pictures to draw from. Enjoy.

So last night I went on the bike until about 300 calories were burned the first go, and then 200 the second time.
My brother is here and I'm still not sure what to think about it. I love him but I feel threatened with him around a little.
By the way, both of the guys I would be moving in with- Y and F- like me a lot. It isn't just like either, they "like-like" me. In other words, I would be living with two guys with enormous crushes on me. The difference would be, Y knows his limits and respects me as a person and a girl, so he would never do anything untoward.
It is tiring though. Y has a nickname for me so he is always texting, "I'll do anything for you my _____." Sigh... I never text him back when he does that.
Anyways, I started a subject and completely forgot to finish. I weighed myself this morning at, 155.4 lbs. I am soooo close to my next goal. Hopefully I can get under 150 lbs by tomorrow!