Monday, September 24, 2012

He says that he won't leave me. Even if we are just friends, he has grown an attachment to me. He promises to never leave. He might give up fire academy for me.
I can't even believe it. Literally. I feel like later the excitement of me will calm down and he will regret it and resent me for it. I don't want to be the one to hold him back...
He says that he just wants to help people and that's why he wants to do it, but since I have the same dream although not the same idea for an occupation, he said we should work out what to do together. He wants to make enough money to be comfortable. I'm not sure what I am doing but I have always been let down in the past. I'm not talking about H either. H made promises to me when we first became friends too. I believed him. Now, I'm not sure what to do or if I should even trust myself, but I really don't want to fall in love with him right now. I don't want to fall in love right now period.


  1. nobody worrys about a Fat anorexic..yes absolutely..nd when u said, u r so hurt that now u feel its impossible to be happy nd that ths depression is nw in ur very core..yes dear..m feeling d same way..nowadays my biggest fear is not my depression but its d fear that nw it has become d fabric of my mind...that m incurable now..nd the best way i can imagine to make them realize their mistakes is by starving myself..even i feel its not good ..what if m already gone..but I need to do this
    ok nw leave it..its an endless mental conflict..just hv to endure..hey dear if in ths long tiring journey of life,someone is showing his genuine care then why not go with it..i knw in past u felt betrayed,hurt..but u also knw that everybody is different..we r its better to take risks..even if its d matter of hearts..nd btw its not that only u are feeling ths way or chasing him..He is showing his love,care, i thnk u can giv it a chance..lets see how thngs flourish.

  2. Wow.. I want to tell you to take it slow with him.. I hope things work out for you.
    All my love x