Wednesday, August 29, 2012

So I just discovered that comments have a limited amount of words or characters. Flawed Design left that long lovely comment and it won't even fully show up. :(
But that's okay, the entire thing showed up in my email. I set it up that way originally actually. When someone comments it's like getting an email because it also gets sent to my email. Then I can check email and read comments even when I can't access blogger. Its really nice. Also, if I were ever to delete my blog, or blogger did for content reasons, I still have the messages forever. I really do treasure them. Everyone is deleting thinspo videos on facebook, and pro ana websites and blogs and everything. So why don't they bad religious sites/blogs/videos, or ones on drugs, or ones on alcohol, or ones on bipolar, anxiety and depression disorders... shall I go on? It's stupid that people think by taking it all down they are helping. Anyone who is there is already too far gone, and the people who stumble upon it are probably already predisposed to get it or something.
H is being super cute and cuddly today. I hate it. He flirted hard all this morning and I haven't slept all night and I made sure he had some of my ramen noodles because he's out of food, and I even made it for him. And then when I was so out of energy I could hardly stand I asked if he would make me some food and he had the gall to get angry. But see, I can't stop myself from hoping every time he is that sweet to me. It isn't an everyday thing, and it's polar opposite of his normal self. How does one deal with that???
I'm the one with bipolar disorder but even my moods aren't that drastic...
I'm too tried to be tired of life. And I got half way through a 90 calorie no fat yogurt when I remembered that I didn't like yogurt. It makes my mouth really dry and pasty and then it upsets my stomach. Oops. Oh well.
And last night H's dad came back from work with a bag of cookies and threw them directly to me in my room. H had one and then I was like, "Oh Boy! Something to binge on!" And it all went down in seconds I'm sure. Sugar cookies with sprinkles. Ugh I felt sick after one but kept going. I didn't weigh myself today.
I just have to keep the most famous ana saying in mind, "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels."
Keep up the effort girls. Each day you fail and still manage to come up with more enthusiasm for the next day, that right there is a success in itself.

1 comment:

  1. I love you dearly.. you should maybe put noodles down Hs boxers. He would definitely deserve it. :D and aww.. you poor little lactose intolerant person - I always forget too, but thats cos I love yoghurt even though it gives me cramps.. sigh. Sometimes we just dont do whats good for us. and yeh theres always tomorrow.But for once I want today to go well.
    Love you! x