Friday, August 31, 2012

3.84
That is the number when you divide 123 (the number of days until new years) by 32 (the pounds I need to lose). This means, that every 3.8 days I need to lose one pound. If I lose another two pounds in three days, I have changed that to exactly every four days. When I lose more than one pound in 3.8 days, my amount of days raises, giving me a better chance to succeed. Suddenly this looks easy...
I need to be under 150 soon. I am excited again. I actually am. When I started gaining and hit mid 150's I was so discouraged, but now I have the heart to try again, and try harder.
I am making a lot of progress actually.
I was walking in the mall earlier and found a shop that sells the kind of skirt I need for my dream outfit- in every color and design. It was gorgeous.
Walking through there and seeing all of these brand new, never been worn clothes that would never fit me on tiny manikins... inspirational. I felt myself thinking, I'm going to be that small. When I am that small...
It's set in my head. New years cannot hit without me losing a significant amount of weight. I think a day away from H, looking at me in the future may have been just what I need. I have been off lately as I am sure everyone has noticed. My mood finally changed halfway through that last post. I will get there. I am even allowing myself some time to just post to all of you and speak my thoughts. It's good for me...
I will not take back the mean things I said about me though lol. They don't really sink in much anyways but I feel it pushed me farther than everything is okay and sunny. It wasn't really helping me at all. I felt like it was okay almost to make mistakes and so I worried less about making them and sometimes purposely let go of all rules and everything. And then I felt like crap.
I will be right back and make me a new thinspo post!!!

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