Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Sorry if this is gross, because it is, but I weighed myself before #2ing and was 154.2 and after I was 152.9 lbs.
Wow. I can be happy about that. Not about the part where I allowed myself to eat that much but...
Cool. :)
I ate cereal- lots of it- earlier, but I don't think that had gone through me yet because my stomach still thinks it is full. Ugh it is so hot I just feel gross and sticky and sweaty...
I can't wait until winter time x.x
I found out there is no way to get more than a four hour shift, or twenty hours a week in this job. Also the manager got mad at me for being too slow because they put me back on sandwiches again, a week after I had only been on it for two days. I just don't feel like I will ever get the combinations down. I don't work until Friday though, so until then I can NOT eat all I want. And then I have to start again Friday so that I don't pass out during work like I thought I was going to yesterday...
I have been binge eating a bit and slowly gaining but I can't anymore. It's unacceptable. I guess the idea of working this crappy job and still not being able to get away from H... I feel that nothing has changed really from me not having a job except for more work and stress. I am scared to use the money I am earning, because I will get maybe $400 a month if that and I would hate to use it for pleasure and then be stuck here longer because I can't put a down payment down on an apartment when I get another job and get the opportunity. Notice I say when. I'm really not convinced I will find another job. It is nearly impossible to find a job WITH good hours, if a job at all. I have been looking since October really, and I was lucky to even get this one.
I will be trying to get a food card now that I have my pay stub by the way.
Thanks for the comments, and another new follower- Welcome!

3 comments:

  1. Hey.. woo food card.. I would be getting diet 'soda', pineapples and cherries and soy milk.. LOL Yehp that would be my food card buys.. haha.. I am glad that you are not rushing out to spend all your money, its good that you are being wise with your money.. I hope you do find another job, I think it will be easier to get your second job than it was to get your first job.. cos you have experience etc..
    I hope hope *hope* that things improve for you <3 and yes we both need to stop the binges and watch the numbers on the scale inch closer to our GWs for New Years.. <3
    Love you! xx

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  2. Congratulations on the weight loss. Sorry you can't find a job that you love. I'm sure something will turn up when you least expect it, and everything will be sorted out, haha.
    Good luck with everything.

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  3. i cant get over ur beautiful thinspo songs selection..spcly the last..fairy one :)

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