Tuesday, July 24, 2012

I am kind of worried about my little sister...
I called my mom earlier and of course, they are at a family reunion out of state and I was asking if I they could get me a $30 bus pass, and of course, my mom said I would have to pay for it myself because things would be "tight" for them. I hate that my mom is spending hundreds of dollars to adopt some kid I have never met and has no relation to me or them and won't give me a cent because it's all going towards my mom's unhealthy obsession to keep a baby in her arms. There's a word for it and it is an actual condition that she may actually have but no one gives a damn.
"Oh she's adopting? How nice!" As if it's a charity- HA.
Also she mentioned there's a bump almost like a bug bite near my little sister's eye and it's swollen. It's more than likely a spider bite I would say but no. It can't be that serious or my mom would have to actually put effort forth to do something about it. And I say this because, my mom says she is also sick. Not with a cold or the flu, sick as in hot and cold flashes and a fever. Does a red light turn on in anyone else's head right now?
"It's probably just a mosquito bite. And they are totally unrelated, the fever and the bug bite..." I don't believe that for a moment. A fever? I told her she should get it checked out. She didn't.
"Mom," I told her, "We have several cousins and relatives there who have some kind of medical degree. You should at least ask one of them to look her over."
"No, it's okay. I looked online and it seems fine." Sigh. Stupid mom. I love her, but really?!
It would cost her nothing to have someone else look. I'm just pissed either no one else has noticed what is going on, or no one else has done anything about it. I may be worked up over nothing and overreacting, but if she was my child, I would have her looked over, even if it was just by a friend to get a second opinion. My mom says she will probably ask someone if it gets worse, "but it hasn't gotten worse yet" she says. How would she know??? The fact that no one else has "caught" it yet tells me it is something non contagious that could need some looking into.
This sister is about nine years old, pale as a ghost, and is basically a skeleton. She's the same sister who I think could have a learning disorder because she stutters and just doesn't seem to understand things especially socially as well as her younger sister. That's a warning sign to me. Also, she is underweight and talks about being skinny which scares me. One time I was so freaked out when she said it I told her she might be too skinny and should try to eat more. H also believes that she is extremely underweight for her age, which makes me feel as if my suspicions aren't just irrational worries. I have pointed it out to my mom a ridiculous amount of times but my mom gets angry and offensive and once she said she took her to the doctor and the doctor said she was fine- both in weight and in mind. I don't know if she just said that to get me off her back or if she was telling the truth, but I am still sensing something is not right there. My entire family is predisposed genetically from both parents towards obesity. The two sisters younger than her are probably at least a little chubby for their weight, although that isn't a worry to me, and all her older sisters are fairly normal, or at least not skeletons. I might worry some about one of the twins, but even she doesn't look like this.
Bipolar disorder, ADD in both females and males, dyslexia, depression, and autism all run in the family. My older brother has aspergers, and both of my older brothers and my next youngest sister had been diagnosed with ADD. Both parents and some of the siblings just mentioned are on depression meds. Most of my aunts and uncles are considered obese, some morbidly. My dad has dyslexia...
You see why my worries aren't completely unfounded?
I myself am going in for testing next week. I have already been diagnosed with depression and an anxiety disorder. I am trying to see if I have adulthood ADD. I may have something aside from that too. Also, I believe a lactose intolerance and celiac's disease are common in our family. My dad was diagnosed with lactose intolerance. My mom still refuses to believe I have that and celiac's disease, which I have not been tested for but I am pretty certain I have.
Anyways, I am really hoping nothing bad happens to my little sister. My mom needs a wake up call, but I don't think she would get it even if one of us died. I am afraid one of us will die from her negligence. I am scared for my sisters.
I am terrified one of my sisters will also pick up an eating disorder. My next youngest sister already had to deal with childhood obesity and had eating issues that made her larger not smaller. She has ADD medication now though, and it helps her to lose weight and eat less and healthier. I'm not worried about her getting a disorder at all. I know her too well.
My other sisters, though... one can never tell. I am always looking for signs in my smaller sisters, because if the nine year old is this small now and talks about how proud she is to be skinny and who is fat in the family... I would be less worried honestly if she developed an eating disorder at an older age.
I have noticed the girls who start out at seven or eight who have one, they grow into a woman with the habits becoming firmly ingrained at that age. Then they are the ones who become the smallest and are probably the sickest. I feel that the later you get an eating disorder in life, the less severe it is, but that might just be me.
As hard as it is to watch a woman live with an eating disorder, it is absolutely painful to see a child with it.


  1. you are so right.. i worry for your sisters too :( its not fair on them, your mother seems totally oblivious or in denial :\
    And the eating disorder thing.. i think when it is triggered at a young age it is very ingrained.. and horrifying to watch :(

  2. I really hope your sister is okay. Could you not book an appointment for her and take her yourself? It might be nothing but it's always better to get it checked.
    Take care, I hope everything is okay with all your siblings.

  3. Hope your sister gets better and doesn't have anything serious. But yeah, getting it checked out would be the smart thing to do.

    Also I know what you mean about children developing eating disorder. Although I think that if it's caught early, before years pass then they might have a better chance at recovering than older girls would.

  4. Children at her age are indeed incredibly impressionable. The best that you can do is to take advantage of this... by setting a good example, reaffirming healthy thoughts, and encouraging her to pursue hobbies and interests that have nothing to do with body image. But most important of all, she needs to know that she is loved and cared for, which it seems that your mother isn't doing a great job of (she really should NOT be adopting another child).

    She should be proud of being a hard-working and good person rather than being proud of being skinny. It's just a matter of shifting her focus onto something else, which should be easy considering how young she is. If your mother cannot do this, then being her sister, you are the next best thing as a female figure in her life.