Wednesday, June 27, 2012

So, I went to the doctors and apparently I really do have something wrong with my ear... something about the stuffs that keeps my balance dysfunction... anyways. He has me on some kind of steroid thing for extreme allergies and the like. Should be gone after the full week of pills...
Also I have some anxiety meds- to take as needed. Thank God at least I have that. They are supposed to make me drowsy too. Anyone else hate panicking when you are supposed to be sleeping and it's miserable and you just want to be unconscious for it? Yeah. That's how it will work now.
R came over, not my plan, I was slightly stressing about it. Now the old man has taken him back and H went along for the ride. H is still pathetically hopping around on one foot, but it's still under debate whether he will come back or not. I will say this though, H called out "Goodbye *insert my name here*" very loudly, even though I had been ignoring him and I did not reply. I am pretty disgusted with him actually. His body odor earlier was so awful I could smell him from forever away and it smelled like vinegar it was so bad. He tackled me to the bed earlier and looked into my eyes like he never does. But I am put off, and it isn't just the smell.
I know I meant to never read his phone again, but he was in the other room and had left his phone right where I could read it without ever getting caught... didn't think there would be anything in there- I was wrong. Something from before he went to his friends I think- "I'm going to throw *Venus* out the window."
His friend aka size 3- "She deserves it after breaking your controller lol."
Also, this married girl who is almost homeless, he's been talking to her a lot lately. It's the girl who made him cry because she strung him along all during high school. He hasn't seen her in years and yet somehow he is still that desperate. It looks as if the middle part of the conversation is gone. One text is like, "I am sorry I am feeling things I really shouldn't be."
There was something about understanding her situation and he understood boundaries or something. Then a text about "did you like the picture?" I don't even want to know. But I am sickened nonetheless.

Oh wow. H didn't come back. Wait until he figures out R won't wait on him hand and foot and he has no ice there. Big mistake. Asshole. Sorry to sound like a broken record but I am SOOOOOO tired of this.
I want a job. I want to not live here. I want H to get what he deserves, the lonely, desperate, pathetic bastard.
Now he's gone so all the blame for certain foods being gone is directed completely at me. H's dad was already mad at me for eating all his cereal, which H told me to eat without telling me whose it was.
I'm going to take a pill for my sudden panic attack and go to bed girls.
And when I wake up I'm going to be fatter.

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