I have to be quick here- H is taking me shopping because the food card just got refilled. :/ I will stay in control.
The other day, one nice thing H did, (he has been very mean lately), I went into the kitchen and for some reason he reeled my into a hug and asked if I was doing okay or something like that. I told him the truth. He knows I have eating issues. I told him that I had just binged like crazy and was having a hard time because of all the skinny girls on So You Think You Can Dance. He ran his hands down my sides, trying to say that I was beautiful just the way I am, like when he was tracing my shape it was to show how skinny I actually looked. I didn't feel it but it was still sweet.
H is tracking his calories on my fitness pal and so I feel threatened that he will do better than me. He has everything in his favor- good genes, lot's of extra weight which means a good metabolism, and he's a guy. Everyone knows men have better metabolism than women do.
I am super challenged to lose weight now. I hope perhaps if I looked more beautiful at least his friends could tell him what he is missing out on. I am using lot's of crystal light to keep myself from eating. Low cals too. Gtg.