Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Hate K.
She says, "I have no makeup." And pours out bags and bags of the stuff.
She says, "I think I'll try on my new outfit..." She puts on this lovely outfit, and then decides it isn't good enough and changes to another outfit. She has a lot of new clothes and other things. She talks about being fat and disgusting, which makes me feel like she is talking about me.
Then she talks about how she charmed some guy at the bar into letting her in for free and paying for all of her drinks for her. She's not even pretty. It feels like an insult, or a punch in the stomach that anyone else could actually not see the monster inside her.
I sat here on the computer and just watched her apply and reapply all her miserable make up. She doesn't look any better with it on either. But then she gave me a few of her old stuff like it meant nothing to her. I feel poor and pathetic, even next to the poor and pathetic. My only solution is to fight to get smaller than her. I have to be the skinniest. I NEED to be size zero.

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