Finally I am hungry. My stomach is growling and it hurts but it hurts so good. H is usually the reason for me to eat. But I have not really spoken to him after he asked me what was wrong and I didn't answer. I WILL get over the bastard. He keeps coming in to check on me, which he usually does. Without him, I feel the need to starve again. I have the will, the motivation, the STRENGTH- and it is amazing.
When I allow myself to live in the delusion that he still loves me, I feel happy and therefore I eat. It is like he is my comfort instead of Ana, but I cannot allow myself to do that anymore.
I need to depend on myself for happiness, on my own methods. He can no longer be in the picture.