Saturday, April 7, 2012

So, K is losing weight still. She said she's about 165 lbs. now.
She asked how much I was and I lied and said I haven't weighed myself in a while. I was trying not to encourage her. Then she guessed I was somewhere between 160-150 lbs. and she said she thought maybe in the lower 150's. It's good to know I look smaller than I am.
I have to say, when that guy flashed me I think it triggered an Ana episode. Since then I have hardly been able to  eat and I have been motivated to exercise more. I think I just feel violated, and I crave being smaller. I want there to be less of me to grab on to. Maybe if I was skinnier I would look older, less childish, and guys would stop pursuing me with the assumption that I'll do something with them. Do I look desperate? Do I look easy? I need to be smaller. It sparked a need in me that I haven't been able to access for a while.
So, I'm sure everyone has been waiting to see how much I weigh, so here you go.
On Wednesday, I weighed 159.8 lbs. I stayed up all that night and didn't sleep until the next night.
Yesterday, Friday, I weighed 157.4 lbs.
Then today, I weighed myself and I am 156.5 lbs.
Yay for me!!!
I can actually tell the difference, in my stomach the most. I can usually wake up and think about how my stomach feels and know whether I lost, and whether I lost a lot or just a little. It's one of those things an Ana girl just knows I guess. It's one of the many ways we measure ourselves.
It's like when we see how many fingers we can get to touch around our wrists.
So Good Luck Girls!!!
I hope you are having some of the same success as I am. If not, you may have to come and steal your old success back from me. :)

1 comment:

  1. well done hun! I am literally thrilled for you :) but I am sorry that guy made you feel that, its unacceptable on his part. I hope you feel less freaked out soon xx