***Another Bad Week***

"This is H. We're over. Stop calling and texting."

I am now single. I slit my wrist. Yes, wrist, as in I failed but who cares.

I used H's brand new steak knife. That set of knives costed his rich mom a few hundred bucks. He wasn't there. They weren't there. It was just me.

I got twelve stitches. An even dozen...

This may feel a bit detached but I mean... how else am I supposed to feel?

Maybe I am thinking that we were only together in the first place because I was lonely and he was desperate. And now I have lost my virginity to that age old line.

"I think when you lose it it should be with someone you really love and expect to be with your whole life. That's why I want to do it."

I cannot believe I fell for it.

I did love him, but I regret losing it before marriage.

I have been in a mental hospital since Sunday and just got out yesterday. My parents have taken me in because I refuse every other place. It is only on one condition that I let them take me in. I want to live in the little chicken house in their side yard. There is no way I can live inside that environment. But here I am, middle of the night, and the chicken house isn't ready so I am to sleep in the house.

I am lost.

Life sucks, but I am pushing through.

Barely...